I Hear Chappaqua Is Lovely This Time of Year

So Mohammar Gadhafi (shown right) wants to bring his traveling circus side show to the States. It's not enough that he swindled the Brits into releasing a dying (I'm feeling much better now!) terrorist. He has to rub it in our face that he's been able to bamboozle two successive administrations into buying that Islam is the religion of peace.

He wants to pitch a tent (the fabric kind, one presumes) on the lawn of the Libyan mission in New Jersey. And the neighbors are really mad about this. Not ObamaCare mad. They are at full, seething "my neighbor painted their front door red when it clearly states in the subdivision bylaws that all doors shall be painted black" mad. Which only proves my theory that nobody really cares what goes on in government as much as what their neighbor does to their yard.

To make matters worse—or better, depending on your point of view— Gadhafi is rumored to travel with a bazillion female "body guards." Which offers the obvious solution. Where on the east coast would a power hungry enemy of the U.S., terrorist, and mass murderer be welcome? Of course, Chappaqua. The body guards are just icing.

"Bill, your guests are here. Please don't let them park their camels in the rose bushes."

Dude, I can totally see your wiener.

As the press sits around marveling at Obama's fantastic new suit of clothes, the rest of us are left gaping at the spectacle of our naked emperor, fooling no one but himself. So I thought I'd do the gent a favor and point him out a few things — speak truth to power, as they say:

1. We know you picked Hillary for Secretary of State just to get her out of your way, but she's really bad at her job. Bring it up at her next performance review.
2. Your wife has horrible fashion sense. I'm just saying.
3. When you start a sentence "Let me be clear," we know you're about to lie. It's like a poker tell.
4. Without your tele-prompter, you're starting to sound erratic and gaff-prone, but...
5. ...good news, not as erratic and gaffe-prone as Joe Biden. Bring him around more.
6. It's possible that Robert Gibbs may be functionally illiterate — probably had someone else fill out the job application for him. You might look into that.
7. If your lefty base finds out Rahm Emanuel is Jewish, they're going to be really pissed.
8. The Supreme Court is not a Gap ad. You don't have to get one of each ethnicity in the photo.
9. Every time you point the finger at Bush, there are three more pointing back at you. They represent the deficit you tripled.
10. Afghanistan's a mess. You may have to soldier-up over there. Don't tell Code Pink.
11. You know that neighbor who's always giving you their unwanted cold remedies? You're kind of like that old lady. Keep your healthcare ideas to yourself.

The Importance of Being Second

One of my favorite blog sites, Flopping Aces, ran a contest. Write the best essay on the relevance of the Second Amendment in 400 words or less and win a t-shirt (shown above) from Ranger Up. I didn't even need 200 words. But then I didn't win either. Second place seems fitting for the subject though. Here's my essay:

Militias. Armed Revolt. The 2nd Amendment was introduced at a time when the founders had fresh in their minds the success of the American Revolution, fought in large part by REAL citizen soldiers armed with their personal hunting rifles. But (thinks the reasonable person) that was a wholly different time. The right to bear arms is outmoded in a stable republic. And he would be right. If there could ever be such a thing as a stable republic.

The 2nd Amendment isn’t a Revolution-era footnote explaining how we got here. It’s a foot in the door of liberty in case that door ever swings closed.

Our Constitution is perishable. The only thing keeping it alive is the active force of the law it details. Undermine the force of law, and the Constitution evaporates. And law is easily undermined. Activist judges. Czars. Legislative creep unchecked by Stare Decisis lethargy. States are threatening to assert their rights against the federal government in a manner unseen since the civil rights era. Is the thought that citizens may need to stand up against tyranny so unthinkable that we would ignore the only physical protection we have to do so?